Looking for a new start

things have been crazy lately and I feel like I should have been blogging, but I have been helping everyone else except myself. Mom has not been feeling well, so I have been to the doctor with her 3 times. Steph just took her again this morning for a test and I stayed with the kiddios. I have been setting up at markets selling jewelry and I have a new partner in crime and we have been reorganizing the studio to make it more functional for the 2 of us. I have been a busy girl.

I have however been watching what I eat more closely and went to the co-op and stocked up on healthy foods. Mom's diabetes has been all out of whack so I have been trying to help her with more healthy meals and she had to go on insulin so I have been helping her get used to the shots she has to take right now. Hopefully the pain in her stomach is what is causing a rise in her blood sugar levels and she will be able to get her numbers back down to a more normal area soon, when she gets her pain under control.
The test she took today showed no cancer, now ulcers, and really not much of anything other than inflammation in the esophagus and upper intestine. My hope is that antibiotics and maybe yogurt could help put her back in balance.

My hope for my life is that I get off my ass and start exercising before I am diabetic!

not perfect but a start

Ok, so I didn't start exactly when I said I was going to. I did how ever go to the doctor and have an ultrasound. So now I have to go ahead to start. I can't remember if i posted this or not, but I have had 2 surgeries to remove uterine fibroids and this past weekend I had some swollen lymph nodes, which apparently is probably a symptom of my issue with fibroids. I really wish I had just had a hysterectomy. Oh well... the best thing I can do now is take control of my own health, lose weight and get active!

So I did start eating well yesterday.

Lunch/ blackened chick sand on a ww bun, topped with slaw and tomato, mustard

dinner/ salad with boiled egg, raisins, oil and vinegar dressing
ww thin spag. with turkey meat sauce (Classico) no added sugar

1 1/2 beers

snack/ 1/2 portion of same spaghetti

today/

Breakfast/ boiled egg on slice thin toast (thin white) with spray butter

Snack/ Banana

Will try to post later.

tomorrow's the day!!

Ok.. I am going to be at the gym at 7:00 am. I will weigh and work out. I will also eat clean tomorrow. I am nervous about going, because, right now I have a swollen and sore lymph node in my groin on the left side. I have been feeling tired lately and I've had other aches and pains. I believe I just have an infection I need to get over, but it makes me nervous none the less.
I will let you know how it goes and keep on top of this. Due to the holiday I will not be able to go to the doctor until tuesday. I will let you know what they say. Wish me luck.

cyn

Same old-Same old

okay, so... I have thought about what I pledged last night and... I am going to stick to it! Today I have continued with my regular schedule I got up drank coffee, smoked cigarettes, went to lunch with my sister, ran into friend that reminded me of, why I made the pledge last night, went to the studio, delivered my shirt, went to my sisters, drank wine, ate pizza hung out with kids and friends and am now sitting down to tell YOU about it.
THIS IS WHAT HAS TO CHANGE, in my life! THIS ROUTINE.

Some of the numerous reasons for the pledge are that I smoke and want to quit. I have had 2 (count them) 2 Myomectomy surgeries to remove uterine fibroids. I have gained at least 60 lbs. in the past 3 years and am sick to death of being fat! I have a cyst on my ovary that drives me crazy not only when I start my period, but during the month and everywhere in between. My feet hurt.

I am 41 yrs. old. When I turned 40 it was as if my whole body was revolting against me. Even my eye sight instantly was strained. My legs ache sometimes. My shoulder hurts. I slept weird last week and it hasn't been the same since. Sometimes (pinched nerve in my shoulder) my fingers go numb and it freaks me out.

I don't want to have a heart attack at 43 like the commercial I saw the other day. I don't want to grow older, lonelier, fatter, more miserable. I want to see the world and for the world to see me for who I am!

cyn

Living the Biggest Loser???

This picture was me 3 years ago, a couple of days after I finished my first century ride. I was so proud of myself. I want to feel that way again.

Living the Biggest Loser is about applying the knowledge I have accumulated over the past 25 years about diet and exercise to my life. I pledge to create my own Biggest Loser challenge and submit a progress video to the casting crew weekly. At the end of my 18 week challenge I will be the "Biggest Loser."

I will start my challenge this coming Monday, May 31, 2010. I will post daily. I will weigh weekly, on Sundays. I will post progress pictures and videos. I will share my secrets and what I learn along the way and step outside of my comfort zone. This will be my accountability and I will help others when I can.

I am doing this because I too, like so many others have struggled all my life with my weight.

When I was more active everyday was and adventure, now everyday I wake up is like ground hog day. I get up, I go to my studio, I hang out with family, which usually involves food and wine, I come home and watch about an hour of television and then I go to sleep. repeat, repeat, repeat...

I used to ride my bike. My bike was my best friend. I trained for and completed 3 century rides. I want my future to be adventurous. I'm only 41, I want to meet someone and fall in love and maybe get married. I have never allowed myself to do that because I always felt so unworthy.

I want to learn to love myself and look forward to being me and be filled with optimism and happiness.

I choose life! I choose to participate!

I am sick of waiting for it to start. I believe John Lennon said "Life is what happens while your making plans."

cyn